To witness the loss of love between parents, to live in family conflicts, to start living different life forms to which they were accustomed … Divorce is an invasive change in the life of any child, regardless of age have Divorce can directly affect the development of your children and it is very important that you take this into account to know how to deal with situations.
First of all, explains the new family dynamics
Young children are very egocentric and will think that it is their fault that you have separated . They feel that the world revolves around them and therefore, they will think that if you separate, it is because of something wrong that you will have done. It is necessary that both you and your ex-partner explain to him that this is not the case, that he is not guilty of anything.
Young children are very self-centered and will think that it is their fault Young children are very self-centered and will think that it is their fault
It is also very important that you give him emotional security and that you explain what the new family dynamics will be, the routine and how it will affect your life (try to affect it as little as possible). Children need to know what is going on, who they will stay with, who will go to pick them up at school … It is very important that you answer with sincerity any question they ask about divorce and any of their concerns.
How divorce affects child development
If you just split up when your child is learning to go to the bathroom, the change may affect him and he starts to wet himself again in bed. This has to do with the anxiety and worry they feel inside. It is very important that you be aware of this so that you understand why it happens to you and do not stretch even more than you can already be.
All this can generate a change in their behavior. They may complain and get angry more than normal or faster. This will be the result of feeling insecure in the current situation. They are also likely to tighten the boundaries to get your attention, and it is very necessary that you maintain good discipline to be able to provide proper structure and order at home.
The rules can not miss
The rules at home, the limits, the rules of coexistence, will be essential at all times. You should discuss them with your ex-partner in order to follow the same line. If in one house one thing is done and in another, a different one, children will feel unprotected and insecure and where there are fewer norms, they will behave in a rebellious way, tightening the limits whenever they can. But it is not a bad behavior, it is simply a response to the insecurity they feel.
Therefore, it is necessary that both your former partner and you, have the same structures at home or the same rules. Otherwise, children will begin to manipulate situations or play to see how far they can go, generating conflict situations and a lot of family stress.
How to make an easier transition
Children will need the support and understanding of their parents. For that you will have to strengthen their strengths, their skills, they should know how much you love them and above all, it is essential that they spend quality time with both their father and their mother. Do not hesitate to go out to the garden with your children, walk through nature, do activities together, play at home, help you with household chores, give them responsibilities, etc.
talk with your children about any topic that concerns themtalk with your children about any topic that concerns them.
Try to have an open communication with your teachers to know if they are doing well in school or if there has been a setback. Talk to your children about any topic that worries them, they should know that you will remain at their side whenever they need you. The drawings of your children are also very representative. Look at drawings that represent the family, since this can tell you many things about what goes on inside.
It is also very important that you speak well of your ex in front of them, because no matter how resentful you are or that the circumstances are not easy, remember that it will always be your father or your mother and that, nobody can change it. Establish a sense of family order even in different homes.